Best questions from the dating game
By the time he got to college his search for meaning took on new heights.As he was training to become a CPA, he took a critical look at the life track of the average American.It was around this time that he took a philosophy class, where a non-jewish professor introduced him to the concept of life after death – specifically, that the Jewish religion held beliefs in the afterlife and the soul. Once Marc Firestone entered the professional world, his work as a CPA gave his search for meaning a new dimension.
My assistant Karen was in her mid-thirties and at the end of her rope with dating.
She had been out with so many men who, for one reason or another, weren’t acting like a mensch. Ready to live out her life finding other pleasures besides marriage.
“He never called back after he said he would,” “he only talked about himself,” “he had only one thing on his mind…” etc., etc. Because I was a few years older and happily married for ten years, Karen would often share her dating foibles with me. A good communicator, respectful, happy disposition, decent looking. Are you ready to take a chance and let your date know that you’re not just ‘sport dating’?
Karen is a great person; caring, bright, honest, spunky, and she has good values. And one day she told me she happened to meet someone at a holiday party. Are you ready for a date where you’ll spend the time getting to know the ‘real him’?
As it turns out, these idolized Americans who exhibited all of the conventional trappings of success led lives that were not all that glamorous or happy. Eventually, Marc Firestone went to a class on basic Judaism and met an intelligent, Yale-educated orthodox rabbi.
He asked the Rabbi what he describes as a “tough” set of questions related to the Jewish religion and what observants believe and how they are sure of a god’s existence.
The Rabbi was able to answer Marc’s questions, but Firestone, ever the learner, kept asking more.
“He seems like a good guy, but can I stand one more failed date evening? ” After dozens of typical ‘dumb dates,’ she knew sitting in a dark room watching another movie and having a drink in another dark room wasn’t getting her any closer to marriage. But don’t you think asking questions like this turns the date into some kind of formal interview?
“Take this card and play the dating game.” I handed her a card with 10 questions. On your next date give him this card and ask him to choose two questions which you will answer. You can’t ask more than two questions per date.” Here are the 10 Questions: “You game? I’m afraid it’s a turnoff.” I reassured Karen that I knew from experience with other singles that this works. But if her date is dating for the right reasons, he’ll go along with it. If the questions spark great conversation, that’s a good sign for a second date. ” Click here for a PDF version of the Dating Game Card.
If he’s not interested, you probably shouldn’t be either.” “Okay, I’ll give it a shot,” she replied. If he doesn’t go with my straight talk, he’s not the right guy.” A few days later she popped by my office for a debriefing. “He took me to the restaurant we went to on our first date and pulled out a card with 11 questions. Marc Firestone was raised in a secular household and taught the conventional ideas of the American Dream.
“We went out and the date was fantastic.” To make a long story real short, they kept going out for a few months until one morning she walked into my office with one huge smile. But in his later teen years, he started questioning the Dream, as well as life in general.